a thoughtful, reflective first post title

it appears that i’m finally jumping back in to creating a real blog. i can’t guarantee that i will post in it beyond today. i may abandon it altogether tomorrow. if you’re lucky, though, i will fill it with lots of uninteresting thoughts and photos for seconds to come.

i haven’t written very many (if any) real blog posts for a couple of years. this may be due to the fact that i usually only write a lot when my emotions are extreme. if i am very happy or depressed, i might feel more compelled to write about why i feel such things. for a while now, though, i’ve been a happy medium. unfortunately, that isn’t very interesting for anyone.

i’ve also stopped making music. i don’t want to admit it to myself because i was really good at it and i’m wasting talent. since moving to virginia, i’ve probably made less than a dozen beats. i could make up lame excuses like “i don’t have time” or… that’s the only one i can think of, but it isn’t true. i still have the passion. i love doing it, even though it’s only for me because i don’t do anything beyond creating it for myself. however, music should convey your emotions. it is difficult to create music that moves the body/soul if it is conveying no extreme emotion… just regularity. when i create music, i want my listener to be excited to feel what is in my heart. i haven’t created anything that i think does that successfully for a while. maybe i just need to become unhappy or angry about something.

i’m thinking about seriously taking up photography. i’ve always been into art since i was a youngster and took some photography classes in high school. i know a lot of people with experience as semi-professional photographers. i have the money to do it, and i know i have the eye for it too. i’m buying a canon digital rebel eos xti. there have been extended periods of my life for which i don’t have any photographic evidence, and i think i need to make sure that never happens again.

also, i need to get back to doing graphic design/websites. this is basically going to be the beginning of that. i have hosting/domains, but haven’t really done anything with them. i want to begin by customizing the blog design. hopefully that, along with the photography, will spur my leet photoshop skills i once had. i guess all we can do is wait and see what happens. wish me luck.